Preparation A For Asteroids

When comparing worst-case scenarios, we often think of the ultimate worst-case scenario as being that the universe blows up. Earth getting hit by a giant meteor or asteroid would probably be a close second.

I was certainly quite relieved earlier this week to hear that NASA lowered Earth's chances of getting hit by an 885-foot asteroid. Newly discovered in 2004, 99942 Apophis (original name was 2004 MN4) seemed to have a chance of hitting Earth (or the Moon) in 2029. Then again in April of 2036, scientists had calculated a 1 in 45,000 chance that Apophis could strike Earth. However, luckily for us, that threat has now been lowered to a 1 in 250,000 chance. Some day down the road, we're all going to be hearing about the Torino Impact Hazard Scale. Level 1 would indicate a very small chance of the worst-case scenario. If they start talking about the Level 4 threat level, we all might as well start partying like there's no tomorrow. In the meantime, let's send out some space probes that will put tracking devices on these annoying asteroids.

Polar Eyes

We don't see things as they are,
we see things as we are.
--Anais Nin (1903-1977) American/French writer

Fake Lake

We have a lake in our neighborhood. It's very popular for joggers and dog walkers. It's not a real lake. It's our Fake Lake.

For being man-made, it certainly fools a lot of waterfoul. As I drove by today, a great blue heron flew right over my car. Gaggles of geese love to land into the wind. The fountain is intermittently active. It's lit at night by colored light.

Fake Lake is starting to seem more like a real lake. Reeds are growing along the west side. I'm starting to think a canoe or kayak or sunfish sailboat might not look too bad out on Fake Lake, with me inside.

Generations of Laze

An Add-On Poem by Kit & Johnnny.
Title: Generations of Laze
Date Written: September 26, 2009.
Copyright © 2009. All rights reserved.
{Line 1: Johnnny, Line 2: Kit, and so on and so forth.}

Title: Generations of Laze

Do some cooking for friends, unless
You need to go to church and confess
Bad vibes in your life bringing you down
Weighing so heavily like a beaded bridal gown
Get back to the basics and set up your camp
The stars twinkle lightly, the ground cool & damp
Our tent feels like home except for one thing
This emu we found with a wounded wing
Flight's not an option after generations of laze
A species grounded in its evolutional phase
Emu is king of the jungle except for one chap
But Simba is usually taking a nap
Have fun while you can write an add-on poem
Use your young legs and let them go roam
Keep climbing & rhyming exercising your legs & your brain
"I'm lucky to be" should be your refrain
We'll rehearse every verse dealing with something bad
And google diseases that we've never had
Focus on each day as if it's the end of your life
Because it might be, so embrace the strife.

An Add-On Poem by Kit & Johnnny.
Title: Generations of Laze
Date Written: September 26, 2009.
Copyright © 2009. All rights reserved.
{Line 1: Johnnny, Line 2: Kit, and so on and so forth.}

Roundabout

Do you ever feel like you're going in circles, and that you repeatedly continue going over the same ground, without making much headway? (If you drive NASCAR, that's definitely the case.) This sign in our neighborhood warns of a "roundabout" intersection, where nobody really knows who has the right-of-way. It's lucky we have this sign (from all four directions) so drivers don't go straight through and take out the flowers that have been planted in the middle.

Trick or Treat

We don't have a dog but a lot of people (in our neighborhood) do. So, the other day I purchased one box of Our Family Dog Biscuits (Multi-Flavor) to have on-hand for our passers-by. As Kit perused the box, she mentioned that the INGREDIENTS section included some interesting sounding items:

Wheat Flour (good start)
Wheat Middlings (never heard of these)
Meat and Bone Meal
Animal Fat (what animals?)
Dried Cheese Product (who doesn't love it?)
Liver Meal (but, of course)
Poultry By-Product Meal (which means what!?)
Dried Beet Pulp (my personal favorite)
Dried Milk
Bacon Fat
Wheat Germ Meal (sounds healthy)
Dried Molasses

These treats look like a veritable cornucopia of nutrition, all packed into handy little biscuit snacks. Now when our neighbor dogs stop by, I know exactly why they are so interested in what's in my pockets.

Porky

Hello. Miss Piggy here. Just a quick reminder that people cannot catch the "swine flu" from eating cooked pork. According to the folks at the CDC, swine influenza viruses are not transmitted by food. Therefore, you can't get swine influenza from eating pork or pork products. Eating properly handled and cooked pork and pork products is safe. Cooking pork to an internal temperature of 160°F kills the swine flu virus as it does other bacteria and viruses.

Oh, by the way, I'm doing fine and feeling better than ever. Thanks. Love, Miss Piggy

Check Mate

An Add-On Poem by Kit & Johnnny.
Title: Check Mate
Date Written: September 4, 2009.
Copyright © 2009. All rights reserved.
{Line 1: Kit, Line 2: Johnnny, and so on and so forth.}

Seven thousand crickets chirped like
Concert fans encore hopeful for
Another chance at the big knockout
Punch your neighbor and kiss your enemies
Until your dry lips whisper "Checkmate"
Take a break, sip some agua fria with Maria
Stoke a giant blaze in the chimenea
Fire is our friend into the dark in the park
Where fireflies light forbidden routes
Follow the fog through the torquoise night
To the place where the bees bring their treasure
Hivey hovey to the Hexagon Queen's court
Sipping our tea, you resemble the sea
Salt to a fault and sugar with honey
Brine of the Gods, our souls marinate
Seasoning spirits with herbs that stop by
Under the cover of a periwinkle sinking sky
Pack up your woolens and bring in the sheep
As the hills roll away and hunker back down
Let's hide in a log with a frog from uptown
You breathe in the smog, I'll deal with the crime
Bottom line is we deal the cards that play
The knight or the bishop...which should I take?
You took my rook - a regrettable mistake.

An Add-On Poem by Kit & Johnnny.
Title: Check Mate
Date Written: September 4, 2009.
Copyright © 2009. All rights reserved.
{Line 1: Kit, Line 2: Johnnny, and so on and so forth.}

Cariflower

When you're walking around, with a Canon A540, looking for an interesting picture waiting to be taken, it's hard to pass up reflections.

If you were thinking

that these front yard flowers

are reflecting

in the passenger-side rear window

of a 1989 Honda Civic Hatchback

you would have been correct.

I could have just said

that the back of my car

was full of fresh flowers

but that would have been

misleading.

Caption Contest

Our next in a series of Caption Contest photos comes to us from taking a picture off the television set in the garage.

Please post a comment with your caption ideas for this photo!

Legal Aliens

I recently had the pleasure of coming upon some aliens who had just landed.
Curiously, I did not feel any fear of abduction, just a calm sense of perhaps trying to have a dialogue with them, to gain some mutual understanding. They did agree to pose for a photo-op before we got started...

We agreed to take turns asking each other questions!

They first asked if they could speak to Our Leader, to which I said "Do you mean Hillary Clinton?", to which they retorted: "No, Tom Cruise!"

It was now my turn to ax, so I decided to throw them a two-part question: 1. "Why are you here?" and 2. "How long are you staying?"

Their answer was: "We are here to help Warm Your Planet", and "We are leaving because your Dear Leader has imposed a new UFO Tax, which is Driving us Out of Orbit!"

The Legal Aliens then surprised me with their next question: "Why didn't Adam Lambert win Season 8 of American Idol?" (Maybe you can help me out with a response here!)

My next two-parter: 1."What have you found to be the healthiest substance in the universe?" and, 2. "What do you use as your currency?"

Their answer to both parts: "Heineken."

Johnny Convention

Have you ever thought how much fun it would be to have a convention of people who all had your same name? You certainly would not have to wear any name tags. At a convention of Johnnys, you would find:

Johnny The Talk Show Host

Johnny The Environmentalist
Johnny The Musician

Johnny The Actor

Johnny The Adventurer (Johnny Quest)

Johnny The SuperHero

Wabbit

We are now fighting the fight for our flowers
Against our new formidable foe - The Rabbit
The battleground is our back yard
Our weapon is putrescent egg solids and garlic
We decided to try the "liquid fence" route
Anyone with any anti-rabbit success stories?

Legumes

July 2009 Photo Caption Contest!

Post a comment with your caption ideas for this photo!

Fireworks

When it comes to Fourth of July fireworks, some of the best fireworks are growing in our backyards. Flowers are the original summer fireworks. Even tho this particular bloom isn't growing in our particular backyard, we will probably end up sitting on our elevated deck this Fourth of July evening and watching all the fireworks going off around us, just like we did last year. Happy 4th of July Independence Day!