Legal Alien

This legal alien was found on our driveway. He put on his glasses so he could really check out our place. We will file this under the category of Temporary Art. After a rainstorm passed thru the area, he was gone. Chalk up another sighting of Legal Aliens.

Porky

Hello. Miss Piggy here. Just a quick reminder that people cannot catch the "swine flu" from eating cooked pork. According to the folks at the CDC, swine influenza viruses are not transmitted by food. Therefore, you can't get swine influenza from eating pork or pork products. Eating properly handled and cooked pork and pork products is safe. Cooking pork to an internal temperature of 160°F kills the swine flu virus as it does other bacteria and viruses.

Oh, by the way, I'm doing fine and feeling better than ever. Thanks. Love, Miss Piggy

Legal Aliens

I recently had the pleasure of coming upon some aliens who had just landed.
Curiously, I did not feel any fear of abduction, just a calm sense of perhaps trying to have a dialogue with them, to gain some mutual understanding. They did agree to pose for a photo-op before we got started...

We agreed to take turns asking each other questions!

They first asked if they could speak to Our Leader, to which I said "Do you mean Hillary Clinton?", to which they retorted: "No, Tom Cruise!"

It was now my turn to ax, so I decided to throw them a two-part question: 1. "Why are you here?" and 2. "How long are you staying?"

Their answer was: "We are here to help Warm Your Planet", and "We are leaving because your Dear Leader has imposed a new UFO Tax, which is Driving us Out of Orbit!"

The Legal Aliens then surprised me with their next question: "Why didn't Adam Lambert win Season 8 of American Idol?" (Maybe you can help me out with a response here!)

My next two-parter: 1."What have you found to be the healthiest substance in the universe?" and, 2. "What do you use as your currency?"

Their answer to both parts: "Heineken."