Porky

Hello. Miss Piggy here. Just a quick reminder that people cannot catch the "swine flu" from eating cooked pork. According to the folks at the CDC, swine influenza viruses are not transmitted by food. Therefore, you can't get swine influenza from eating pork or pork products. Eating properly handled and cooked pork and pork products is safe. Cooking pork to an internal temperature of 160°F kills the swine flu virus as it does other bacteria and viruses.

Oh, by the way, I'm doing fine and feeling better than ever. Thanks. Love, Miss Piggy

Check Mate

An Add-On Poem by Kit & Johnnny.
Title: Check Mate
Date Written: September 4, 2009.
Copyright © 2009. All rights reserved.
{Line 1: Kit, Line 2: Johnnny, and so on and so forth.}

Seven thousand crickets chirped like
Concert fans encore hopeful for
Another chance at the big knockout
Punch your neighbor and kiss your enemies
Until your dry lips whisper "Checkmate"
Take a break, sip some agua fria with Maria
Stoke a giant blaze in the chimenea
Fire is our friend into the dark in the park
Where fireflies light forbidden routes
Follow the fog through the torquoise night
To the place where the bees bring their treasure
Hivey hovey to the Hexagon Queen's court
Sipping our tea, you resemble the sea
Salt to a fault and sugar with honey
Brine of the Gods, our souls marinate
Seasoning spirits with herbs that stop by
Under the cover of a periwinkle sinking sky
Pack up your woolens and bring in the sheep
As the hills roll away and hunker back down
Let's hide in a log with a frog from uptown
You breathe in the smog, I'll deal with the crime
Bottom line is we deal the cards that play
The knight or the bishop...which should I take?
You took my rook - a regrettable mistake.

An Add-On Poem by Kit & Johnnny.
Title: Check Mate
Date Written: September 4, 2009.
Copyright © 2009. All rights reserved.
{Line 1: Kit, Line 2: Johnnny, and so on and so forth.}

Legal Aliens

I recently had the pleasure of coming upon some aliens who had just landed.
Curiously, I did not feel any fear of abduction, just a calm sense of perhaps trying to have a dialogue with them, to gain some mutual understanding. They did agree to pose for a photo-op before we got started...

We agreed to take turns asking each other questions!

They first asked if they could speak to Our Leader, to which I said "Do you mean Hillary Clinton?", to which they retorted: "No, Tom Cruise!"

It was now my turn to ax, so I decided to throw them a two-part question: 1. "Why are you here?" and 2. "How long are you staying?"

Their answer was: "We are here to help Warm Your Planet", and "We are leaving because your Dear Leader has imposed a new UFO Tax, which is Driving us Out of Orbit!"

The Legal Aliens then surprised me with their next question: "Why didn't Adam Lambert win Season 8 of American Idol?" (Maybe you can help me out with a response here!)

My next two-parter: 1."What have you found to be the healthiest substance in the universe?" and, 2. "What do you use as your currency?"

Their answer to both parts: "Heineken."

Christmas Interruptis

An Add-On Poem by Kit & Johnnny.
Title: Christmas Interruptis.
Date Written: December 2, 2006.
Copyright © 2009. All rights reserved.
{Line 1: Kit, Line 2: Johnnny, and so on and so forth.}

Title: Christmas Interruptis.

Wandering aimlessly, lost in a field
I couldn't remember if your letter was sealed
A wave of emotion surged through my torso
The King wanted less, but the Queen thought more-so
Mockingbirds sang to the light in the east
While turkeys were roasting, for the big feast
Abruptly aborted, the plan was not hatched
Christmas Interruptis, the ball was not catched
The Queen, in a rage, ate a platefull of cheese
While mice in the den put on the squeeze
Chaos did erupt, like volcanoes on crack
Yearning and burning, I'll give it a smack
Intensely deficient, we searched endlessly
Using some scotch and some gin, and mixing blendlessly
The edges came loose, the seams pulled away
My clothes don't fit me, too much sorbet
"Hey man, take a left, there's a cop on the right"
So, stay out of jail, and to all, a good night!

An Add-On Poem by Kit & Johnnny.
Title: Christmas Interruptis.
Date Written: December 2, 2006.
Copyright © 2009. All rights reserved.
{Line 1: Kit, Line 2: Johnnny, and so on and so forth.}

Sum of the Parts

An Add-On Poem by Kit & Johnnny.
Title: Sum of the Parts.
Date: February 12, 2009.
Copyright © 2009. All rights reserved.
{Line 1: Kit, Line 2: Johnnny, and so on and so forth.}



Sum of the Parts.

I tied my shoes and set out on my way
On the surface, it seemed like any other day
Until I discovered the maze I was in
Bodies that once seemed fat, now a bit thin
Without a clock we waited for the sun
Everyone agrees that it's time for some fun
So let down your hair and shake it up
Share the same bed at night and in the morn the same cup
When two become one it's something real
Equations aren't always something you feel
How can you predict the sum of the parts
Perhaps you'd like to join the Queen for some tarts
Her minstels' notes floating through the air
It's all ferris wheel music at the County Fair.


An Add-On Poem by Kit & Johnnny.
Title: Sum of the Parts.
Date: February 12, 2009.
Copyright © 2009. All rights reserved.