Thursday, December 30, 2010

Petting Zoo

Are you looking for a fun neighborhood activity? How about a (temporary) petting zoo? For a few hours on a fun afternoon, bring out any younger (non-biting) members of the animal family. Pets love the attention. Kids love petting the pets. Adults can share favorite recipes while having cocktails. Temporary petting zoos are also a great activity at retirement homes and prisons. If you don't have any pets for a petting zoo, call your local humane society.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Lump Of Coal

Is there a Baa Humbug type person on your shopping list? Are you looking for a few alternative ideas to giving someone a lump of coal? Here is a Top Twenty list of gift ideas to make someone scratch their head wondering if this gift is for real, or was it intended to say: Baa Humbug?

20. A live vole.
19. Smelling salts.
18. Hockey puck.
17. One automobile gas cap.
16. Dulcolax tablets.
15. Full can of lighter fluid.
14. Two-pack of super glues.
13. A hand mirror.
12. Small bag of Quikset concrete.
11. Roll of duct tape.
10. Map of Wyoming. [+]
9. Coarse sand paper.
8. Bottle of wart remover liquid.
7. Large jar of mayonnaise.
6. Roll of Canadian pennies.
5. Packet of 200 cable binders.
4. One fork.
3. Box of parakeet food. [+]
2. Gift card to a funeral home.
1. Half can of orange paint.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Smash Burger Fargo

Overpriced. Underwhelming.
Smashburger recently opened its doors in Fargo. We decided to check it out. On the way home, I stopped by to order two sandwiches and two sides "to go". They don't have a drive-up window so you do need to park and go in to order...from their order taker. Let's call him Raymond. My first impression of the place was from Raymond - not good. (Wouldn't you want to put someone with some personality and professionalism on your front line?) He was looking down and yawning more than listening and communicating. I started trying to order but wasn't sure if he was paying attention. In the meantime, there must have been two dozen employees all moving around but none of them were doing anything. My order was supposed to be one classic smashburger without onions and an order of smashfries, plus one classic crispy chicken sandwich without onions with an order of veggie frites: to go. With tax, the order came to $17.08, which did not include any drinks. I was thinking that in order to overcome my bad first impressions of the place, some incredible food would be the only possible redemption. At home, a few minutes later, we opened our to-go containers to find: 1. sandwiches that showed little evidence of any recent heat (even tho the to-go bag was next to the floor heater for the two-minute drive home) and 2. side orders of jokingly small proportion. The classic smashburger ($4.99) and crispy classic chicken ($5.99) both had onions, even tho "no onions" was written on the side of the to-go container. The veggie frites ($2.99) yielded about eight small pieces of flash-fried asparagus and eight small pieces of flash-fried carrots (and no green beans as is mentioned on the menu). Bottom line: If you are in Fargo looking for a bite to eat, take your business to Culver's where the same meal would have been $5 less and twice as good, or McDonald's where you would have spent half as much and gotten twice as much food. We came away from our Smashburger experience with average food, small portions, high prices, and poor service. Any questions?

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

State Of Emergency

Mud Slide Slim and the Blue Horizon
California should adopt a new state slogan to help attract more tourism. California: The State Of Emergency. For thrill-seekers looking for some major excitement, California seems to be stuck in a cycle of emergencies: fires, earthquakes, floods, mudslides, budget crisis, and mystery missiles. By advertising itself as The State Of Emergency, California could help its economy by 1. bringing in legal tourists, and 2. legalizing its main export crop.

Saturday, December 18, 2010


The Ladies Professional Golf Association recently changed its rules to no longer require members to be "female at birth". This birther movement was spear-headed by Ms. Lana Lawless, a former policeman. Since she can now play on the LPGA as a transexual, Lana can make use of her long driving ability. I submit that a better idea would be to have a separate TGA: Transgender Golf Association. It is here that transexuals from all around the globe could compete in one special league, combining men-to-women and women-to-men into one very unique golf association.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Rhyme With Orange

Tis quite easy to rhyme with apple:
Snapple, chapel and also grapple.
But who could ever rhyme with Or'ange?
Let's go ask Mr. Julian Ass'ange.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Pop The Bublé

I knew it was going to be a good day
When I bumped into Michael Steven Bublé
After he knocked off my toupeé
We talked at the Bombay Café
During a healthy game of croquét
We were pecked by a large blue jay
Since this was clearly foul play
T'was time for all-you-can-eat buffét
My favorite was of course the soufflé.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Recycled Rocks

Recycled Rocks
During a recent drive-about, I saw a sign next to a proud pile of rocks. The sign said: "Recycled Rocks". As opposed to what kind of rocks? Non-recycled rocks? New Rocks? That got me started on a think-about. Wouldn't all the rocks we have today be from the Stone Age? Has someone been making post-Paleolithic rocks? As I recall from my college Rock-n-Roll 101 class, it goes: Stone Age, Bronze Age, and Iron Age, which are all followed by the Age of McDonalds, the Age of Walmart, and the Rise and Fall of Tiger Woods. I probably just answered my own question. Of course, it must be Walmart that is now producing and selling new rocks, at prices that we have not seen since the Stone Age.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Quoting Whitman

A conversation with Walt Whitman (1819-1892)

BlogSpot: How do you feel about having an image of yourself on a postage stamp?
Walt Whitman: If you done it, it ain't bragging.

BS: Many consider you one of America's great poets and some call you the Father Of Free Verse. Your thoughts on this, sir?
WW: To have great poets, there must be great audiences.

BS: Your bio indicates you were also a journalist, a teacher, a government clerk, and a volunteer nurse during the Civil War. You seem to have a real connection with the common folk.
WW: I dance with the dancers and drink with the drinkers.

BS: You have obviously written a lot. Do you also like to spend time reading?
WW: A morning-glory at my window satisfies me more than the metaphysics of books.

BS: Any thoughts on the current state of world affairs?
WW: Judging from the main portions of the history of the world, so far, justice is always in jeopardy.

BS: What do you think the future holds?
WW: The future is no more uncertain than the present.

BS: How do you deal with life on a daily basis?
WW: To me, every hour of the day and night is an unspeakably perfect miracle.

BS: What lessons have you learned?
WW: I have learned that to be with those I like is enough.

BS: What advice would you care to share with our readers?
WW: Be curious, not judgmental. Keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Magic Bus

Finding a good bus driver can be as important as finding a good musician. ~Reba McEntire

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Brunch For Two

An Add-On Poem by Kit & Johnnny
Title: Brunch For Two
Date Written: November 19, 2010
(Line 1: Johnnny, Line 2: Kit, etc.)
Copyright © 2010. All rights reserved.

Brunch For Two

Absolutely perplexed when you
Presented the group your killebrew
Gestational madness flowing thru the room
I felt like a bride just meeting her groom
Even now as we speak forth our minds
Cocooned in our blanket that warms as it binds
Prism rainbows shine through the blinds
I'll follow this path wherever it winds
Brunch for two and coffee to swallow
Caffeine and eggs, with sunset to follow
Preachin on Sunday, teachin on Monday
Everyone waits for the magical "one day"
Every so often is never enough
Besides real love, the rest is just fluff.

An Add-On Poem by Kit & Johnnny
Title: Brunch For Two
Date Written: November 19, 2010
(Line 1: Johnnny, Line 2: Kit, etc.)
Copyright © 2010. All rights reserved.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Fly The Fiendish Skies

Transportation Security Administration At Your Service:
If you don't want to be X-ray scanned or undergo a "thorough" manual search, you may want to rethink flying the friendly skies for the Holidaze. The TSA is warning passengers who enter a checkpoint, and then refuse to undergo inspection, won't be allowed to fly, and also will not be permitted to simply leave the airport. Those folks will be detained on the premises to be questioned by the TSA and local law enforcement. Anyone refusing to cooperate is looking at fines up to $11,000 and possible arrest. Would you like some peanuts and perhaps a blanket?

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Fish Eyes

There seems to be an expanding expansion of buildings that span their space with curved lines. To better compliment the humans that dwell in them, buildings are becoming more organic. By curving or softening the edges, a box becomes more humanoid. Unfortunately, this example of curvaceousness was not caused by the architect, but rather by a fisheye lens.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Butterfly Flutter By

This was one of our fluttering friends during this past summer. T'was a great summer for flowers, bees, gardens, and butterflies. This dude (whom we named Thorax) liked our backyard blend of blossoms. Here he's pictured sitting upon his favorite pincushion. The verbena were also a very popular spot. Then one day, they all just up and left town. I wonder where Thor is now. If you happen to see him, greet him from us.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


To poke a wood fire is more solid enjoyment than almost anything else in the world. ~Charles Dudley Warner.

The most tangible of all visible mysteries - fire. ~Leigh Hunt.

A spark neglected makes a mighty fire. ~Robert Herrick.

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what really throws you into a panic. ~Jack Handey.

Playing with fire is bad for those who burn themselves. For the rest of us, it is a very great pleasure. ~Author Unknown.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Happy Friday

Happy Friday everyone! (unless you live in Australia, where Saturday is the new Friday.) When I think of Fridays (specifically at around 5 PM), I think of beer. It seems like Friday at 5 PM is the perfect time for a cold one. It offers a refreshing liquid combination of Transcendental Meditation and a massage. The only thing better than that first beer after work, is the second. But remember, everything in moderation, including moderation.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

You Thought You Thought

An Add-On Poem by Kit & Johnnny
Title: You Thought You Thought
Date Written: October 23, 2010
(Line 1: Johnnny, Line 2: Kit, etc.)
Copyright © 2010. All rights reserved.

You Thought You Thought

All cramped in the corner bundled in twine
A voice in my head said everything's fine
What you thought you thought was anything but
Deciding to move, I built a grass hut
Reduce it all down to a spot on the sand
No TV, no ads, no place for a brand
Wake up tomorrow, enjoy the rest of your days
We're orbiting still, it's only a phase.

An Add-On Poem by Kit & Johnnny
Title: You Thought You Thought
Date Written: October 23, 2010
(Line 1: Johnnny, Line 2: Kit, etc.)
Copyright © 2010. All rights reserved.

Monday, October 18, 2010

World of Solutions

The difference between what we do
and what we are capable of doing
would suffice to solve
most of the world's problems.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Jail Fail

Lindsay Lohan is heading back to jail. She failed a mandatory drug test. When her test came up positive she started cheering. Then someone told her that positive is not good. Then she denied she was Lindsay Lohan. She asked for her personal assistant and some coffee. She then wanted to immeditately go to the Hard Rock Hotel. The judge said another failed drug test would mean another 30 days (and nights) in jail. She should have a lot of time to study for her next drug test. Good luck and sweet dreams.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Blowing Wild

An Add-On Poem by Kit & Johnnny

Title: Blowing Wild
Date Written: April 1, 2010
(Line 1: Kit, Line 2: Johnnny, etc.)
Copyright © 2010. All rights reserved.

Blowing Wild

A windy gust set my mind blowing wild
Ideas were flying into brainstorms high-styled
It was like Lady Gaga had hijacked the air
Take over control of the whole affair
Expecting to influence the whys and the whats
Inspecting in sequence all the opens and shuts
Quite suddenly I knew I was about to slip
Big waves knocked us to the back of the ship
Where a laughing deckhand offered a strange brew
Now we're well-grounded, all is straight and true
Eyes to the horizon behind rose-colored glasses
Time spent with you seems to flow like molasses
A velvety compound we knead into dough
We need to know how big will it grow.

An Add-On Poem by Kit & Johnnny

Title: Blowing Wild
Date Written: April 1, 2010
(Line 1: Kit, Line 2: Johnnny, etc.)
Copyright © 2010. All rights reserved.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Plant Plans

Johnnny: Plan your plants and plant your plans.
Kitz: Plant your work and work your plants.
Johnnny: Love your work and work your love.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Dehydrated Water

----- Beginning of transmission -----

If things are too dry in your area
consider buying some dehydrated water.
If things are too wet in your area
consider using dehydrated water.
Either way, it's a good idea!
buy dehydrated water

-------- End of transmission --------

Saturday, August 21, 2010


Today you're the oldest you've ever been,
and the youngest you will ever be.
Clink & Drink.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Honda Headlight

Honda Haiku:
This is how the world
looked, reflecting through the eye
of our CR-V.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Color Coordination

Apparently the new fad is having matching flowers and nails. Actually, while photographing some new shade pots under our deck stairs, my wife's foot jumped into the frame. Serendipitously, her new painted toenails were similar in colorization to our coleus and impatiens that we snapped up at the closing-for-the-year sale. It's always sad when the days start getting shorter. It seems like people start getting shorter too.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Legal Alien

This legal alien was found on our driveway. He put on his glasses so he could really check out our place. We will file this under the category of Temporary Art. After a rainstorm passed thru the area, he was gone. Chalk up another sighting of Legal Aliens.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Wealth For Yourself

An Add-On Poem by Kit & Johnnny
Title: Wealth For Yourself
Date Written: July 1, 2010
(Line 1: Johnnny, Line 2: Kit, etc.)
Copyright © 2010. All rights reserved.

Wealth For Yourself

What if we did win the big lottery
Our world would explode like an aspen tree
We'd buy a few things but-cha can't buy love
Can't keep it in savings, it hovers above
Buy the Dollar Store and a Wendys too
Investing in futures of me and you
Don't rock the houseboat in Amsterdam
The waves seem real but could be a scam
Trust ye not strangers whom ye know not
Eat only the fishes which you yourself caught
Wealth for yourself can come in numerous ways
No doubt you're a king through another man's gaze
Whether or not Lady Luck taps your shoulder
What matters most is in the eye of the beholder.

An Add-On Poem by Kit & Johnnny
Title: Wealth For Yourself
Date Written: July 1, 2010
(Line 1: Johnnny, Line 2: Kit, etc.)
Copyright © 2010. All rights reserved.

Sunday, June 27, 2010


Just as a blogophile loves blogs and blogging, I would consider myself a pianophile. Any time a pianophile walks by a piano, it is hard not to hear what it sounds like and how it plays. My piano motto for a long time has been: I Like To Play. Seeing the inside of a piano (especially while playing it) is always fun, not to mention the increased sound from having opened up an upright piano. This is when it's nice to have some music memorized. You can watch the hammers hit the strings while listening to the giant surround sound of something that doesn't even need to be plugged in. It is never too late to start playing piano, and you can do it for the rest of your life.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Cats and Dogs

About ten days ago, just a small localized area where we live got four inches of rain in a very short period of time. Our avenue temporarily turned into a river.

In the wake of this early summer storm, we also ended up with a temporary lake in our back yard. Four quick inches of rain is all it took to give us some prime lake-front property.

We never knew that when we were putting in our rock gardens, the rocks would someday be a rampart between land and water.

Needless to say, after it rained Cat & Dogs, we didn't have to do much watering any time soon.

Friday, June 4, 2010

New Vegarden

This is one of two new vegetable gardens we've built in our backyard this Spring. At this point, all that was left to do on this one was to fill it with dirt, plant the vegetables, and put a fence around it to keep out the rabbits.

To get to this point, we pulled back the sod, put the lower layer of cedar 4x4 deck posts together on a flat surface (in the garage), carried it out, put it in place, and finally attached the second level of deck posts to the lower level with six inch screws.

Kit already has this garden planted, along with the other one which is on the opposite side of our backyard. Both will get full sun all day long (unless it's cloudy). The shorter end pieces are 4 feet and the longer sides are 10 feet. The actual outside length of the ends is 4 feet plus 3.5 inches (the width of the posts). The sides are 10 feet plus 3.5 inches. If you look at the corner, you can see we have the two levels put together differently so that the seams would not line up. (Click on the picture to see it closer up.)

Making gardens using 4x4 cedar deck posts was such a quick and easy way to add vegardens to our yard. We got the cedar at 55% off of its normal price since they said it was a bit old and weathered, which was perfect for building gardens!

Monday, May 31, 2010

Sky Blue Haiku

Why is the sky blue?
What if it changed to purple?
Let's leave the clouds white.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Final Performances

2010 May 25/26 Final Shows!
Lee or Crystal
Crystal or Lee
American Idol
Who will it be?

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Born Out Of Wenlock

Meet the two new most famous British Blobs: Wenlock and Mandeville. These are your official mascots for the 2012 London Olympics. Wenlock is the mascot for the Olympics and is obviously named after the Shropshire town of Much Wenlock where, in the mid-19th century, the Wenlock Games became the inspiration for the modern Olympic movement. Mandeville is the Paralympics mascot and derived its name from Stoke Mandeville, in Buckinghamshire, home to Stoke Mandeville Hospital. I think these blob-like creatures look like a cross between Gumby and a Cyclops.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

American Idol Top 3

The Final Three performed last night and all seemed worthy (to be in the Top 3). I hope the Final Two will either be Crystal/Casey or Crystal/Lee. It seemed like Lee was over-rated and praised by the Judges. A Crystal/Casey finale would be wonderful. Crystal is always so good. After she sings a song, I usually want to hear it again. Casey is good enough, as long as he sings songs suited for his voice. Lee seems quite raspy and a bit yelly lately and is starting to remind me of Joe Cocker. I hope Lee goes home, leaving a Crystal/Casey Finale.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Jamie Foxx Mentors

American Idol Top 4
Songs of the Cinema

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Ol' Blue Eyes

American Idol Top 5 Show
May 4th, 2010
Francis Albert Sinatra Night
Mentor is Harry Connick Jr.

Your remaining contestants are:
Crystal Bowersox
Casey James
Lee Dewyze
Michael Lynche
Aaron Kelly

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Just Betwain Us

American Idol Top 6 - April 27
Shania Twain Night

From Top To Bottom
1st Place - Crystal: loved it, even tho judges didn't
2nd Place - Lee: liked his version of Still The One
3rd Place - Casey: Not bad, quite OK, eh?
4th Place - Big Mike: Pretty good, man.
5th Place - Aaron: Better than Siobhan.
6th Place - Siobhan: Time to go home now.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Top 7

American Idol Top 7
Inspirational Songs

Top Group: Crystal.
Middle Group: Lee, Casey, Mike.
Bottom Group: Siobhan, Aaron, Tim.
Going Home: Siobhan.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Stormy Weather

Whether or not weather interests you or not, it can affect all of us directly or indirectly. It is fascinating because we cannot control Mother Nature even tho we have so many different weather websites showing everything from the current national radar loop to the local dewpoint forecast. It's always good to know what's coming weatherwise in case any preparations need to be enacted. If you had an outdoor wedding planned and this big mushroom cloud rolled into town, it might be nice to know about it ahead of time. I suppose some weathermen might report this as a partly sunny day. I guess it's all in how you look at it.
Weather E-Wall

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Toast To Elvis

American Idol Top 9 (again)
Songs of Elvis

Two will be eliminated tomorrow.

Top Group (should be safe):
Crystal, Lee, Casey, Mike.

Middle Group: Tim.

Bottom Group (in danger zone):
Andrew, Aaron, Siobhan, Katie.

Prediction on the two that will be eliminated:
Andrew & Siobhan.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Lennon McCartney Night

American Idol Top 9

1. Aaron Kelly Long & Winding Road C-
2. Katie Stevens Let It Be B-
3. Andrew Garcia Can't Buy Me Love B
4. Michael Lynche Eleanor Rigby B+
5. Crystal Bowersox Come Together A
6. Tim Urban All My Loving B-
7. Casey James Jealous Guy A
8. Siobhan Magnus Across The Universe C-
9. Lee Dewyze Hey Jude C

Winners: Crystal & Casey
Losers: Siobhan & Aaron

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Top 10

American Idol Top 10
This Week Winners
1. Crystal Bowersox A+
Excellent. Wanted more.
2. Lee Dewyze A
3. Casey James A-
Any one of the following could be going home:
Michael Lynche
Didi Benami
Andrew Garcia
Katie Stevens

Probably in the Bottom Three:
Tim Urban
Aaron Kelly
Siobhan Magnus - Pitchy screaming.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Top Elevens

American Idol Top 11

Singer (Their Grade)

Crystal Bowersox A+
Lee Dewyze B+
Michael Lynche B+

Casey James B-
Didi Benami B-
Aaron Kelly C+
Andrew Garcia C+

Tim Urban C
Siobhan Magnus C-
Katie Stevens C-
Paige Miles D+

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Spring Buffalo

I'm not sure if today or tomorrow is the first official day of Spring but let's just deem that it's TODAY! One way to tell it's Springtime around here is flooding. (Flud is a four-letter word.) Fargo/Moorhead has these buffalos all around town, each painted differently by different artists. This one at the intersection of Main & Broadway looks like Spring to me. That means it's time to go mow my snow.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Rolling Rockers

American Idol Top 12

Singer (Their Score)

Crystal Bowersox 9.0
Lee Dewyze 8.5
Paige Miles 7.6
Casey James 7.5
Lacey Brown 7.3

Middle Group:
Didi Benami 7.0
Andrew Garcia 6.5
Aaron Kelly 5.6
Michael Lynche 5.5

Siobhan Magnus 4.3
Tim Urban 4.1
Katie Stevens 3.0

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Top 16

Top 8 Ladies

Favorites: Crystal Bowersox, Lilly Scott, Didi Benami, Lacey Brown.

Middle: Siobhan Magnus, Katelyn Epperly.

Bottom Two: Paige Miles, Katie Stevens.

Top 8 Gents

Favorites: Andrew Garcia, Lee Dewyze.

Middle: Alex Lambert, Michael Lynche, Todrick Hall, Casey James.

Bottom Two: Aaron Kelly, Tim Urban.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Toast To Ourselves

An Add-On Poem by Kit & Johnnny
Title: Toast To Ourselves
Date Written: March 5, 2010
(Line 1: Johnnny, Line 2: Kit, etc.)
Copyright © 2010. All rights reserved.
Toast To Ourselves
From the dock, throw a rock, make a splash
Beware that small ripple may spread like a rash
Rings of itch affecting people like me
Only love is the balm that will set us all free
Rise up over clouds of mutual destruction
To hear more bubbles, and far less sucktion
Try to pump the flood, instead of flood the pump
Ride your waves of karma like Forrest Gump
Grumpy frown clown still waits for a laugh
Watching the intern explain his pie graph
Dessert in the den with some add-on poems
Usually includes some beers with foams
Toast to ourselves with some jelly and jams
Hopelessly adrift, but happy as clams.

An Add-On Poem by Kit & Johnnny
Title: Toast To Ourselves
Date Written: March 5, 2010
(Line 1: Johnnny, Line 2: Kit, etc.)
Copyright © 2010. All rights reserved.